


Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

by Stinastar



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Yennefer/Renfri, Crudity, Drinking, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Excessive Use of Song Lyrics, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Karaoke, M/M, Swearing, Texting, background Lambert/Aiden - Freeform, because Lambert, excessive hip movements, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27852050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stinastar/pseuds/Stinastar
Summary: Modern AU with texting and karaoke. Geralt and Jaskier fake dating. Swearing, excessive hip thrusts, drunk singing, getting together.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88





	Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is my sixth fic for my 100 followers celebration bingo on tumblr.  
> >> Heelo! Congratulations on 100 💜 May I please have some Geraskier with a side of fake dating? 😁 (@geraskier-trashh)

(Lambert & Geralt)

Text from Lambert

  * Aiden’s birthday next Friday at the pub



~~

Text from Grumpy Bastard

  * Got it. I’ll be there



~~

  * You fucking anyone yet?



~~

  * Fuck off Lambert



~~

  * Your dick’s gonna fall off if you don’t use it soon
  * Find someone on Tinder or some shit to bring, or I’ll find someone for you



~~

  * You lucked out with Aiden. I have no interest in anyone else you scrounge up
  * How does this affect you



~~

  * You and your lonely dick are bringing down the vibes
  * I mean it. Find someone to bring



~~

  * Fine. If you’ll leave me the fuck alone



~~

  * You got it



———

Geralt cracked a beer and flopped onto his couch, huffing out a sigh. Jaskier sat down beside him, sipping his own beer.

“So, out with it.” Jaskier said.

“What.”

“What’s eating you. You’re in a mood. More grunts and deep sighs than usual.”

“Hmmm.”

Jaskier waited silently.

“Everyone’s on my case about dating someone.” Jaskier raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. “They think it’s a big deal that I have’t dated anyone seriously since Yen. What does it matter? Why do they care?”

“They just want you to be happy, Geralt.”

“‘M fine,” he grumbled. “And now Lambert’s insisting I bring someone to Aiden’s birthday party.”

“Oh. That’s soon.”

“I don’t want to bring some random stranger. What the fuck. He said if I don’t find someone, he will. You know his taste!” He scrubbed a hand down his face in despair.

“Hey!” Jaskier protested.

“Aiden excluded, obviously. I don’t know how he found him.”

“Hmm. You could…” Jaskier trailed off.

“Hmm?”

“Well, uh, you could bring me?”

Geralt stared at him.

“We could pretend to be dating for a few weeks and then say it didn’t work out and go back to normal. It would get them off your back for a while.”

Geralt took a gulp of his beer as he mulled it over. Did he want to date his best friend? Maybe. Definitely. That would be fine. But did he want it to be fake? And then going back to “just friends” afterwards… That… wasn’t ideal. But there was no way to say that. Jaskier was staring at him.

“Nevermind.” Jaskier said, picking at the label on his beer bottle. “Stupid idea.”

Geralt cleared his throat.

“No, uh. Not stupid. I mean… I’d rather fake it with you than some random stranger. If you’re sure you don’t mind.”

Jaskier brightened.

“Not at all! Anything for my best friend.”

There was something off about his smile, his eyes, but Geralt couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Hmm. Well, I’ll owe you one.”

Jaskier waved a hand dismissively.

“You have your brunch with Yen and Ciri on Sunday, right?”

“Yeah. Renfri usually comes now, too.”

“I could join you, if you like? Or is that too much…”

“No! Ciri loves you. That works.”

“Alright,” Jaskier smiled. “Will you pick me up?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s a date!” Jaskier’s cheeks stained red. “Ah, so, it’s your choice of movie tonight. Did you have something in mind?”

———

Geralt and Jaskier were sitting opposite Yennefer and Renfri at the restaurant booth, with Ciri in the curve at the middle.Yennefer was staring at Geralt with a stunned expression on her face.

“You’re… together? Like, together together?”

Geralt cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah.”

“About time,” Ciri muttered without looking up from her Switch. Geralt whipped his head around to look at her. Renfri snorted.

“What…” he started.

“I mean, fair enough, it just seemed like you’d never get your shit together.” Yennefer said.

“What are…” Geralt said before being interrupted again.

“Anyways!” Jaskier interjected cheerfully. “Now that that’s out of the way! Ciri, how’s school? Are you still having trouble with your English teacher?”

The two chatted on as Geralt sat looking baffled. Yennefer whispered to Renfri, who shook her head, before pulling her phone from her purse and texting under the table.

(Yennefer & Eskel)

Text from Yennefer

  * Geralt and Jaskier?!
  * Did you know??



~~

Text from Thing 2

  * … what have they done now?



~~

  * They’re… dating??



~~

  * what
  * Are you sure?



~~

  * Well, they’re sitting across from me at brunch telling me that they are



~~

  * Fuck me
  * Didn’t think they’d ever get there



~~

  * Maybe we should buy lotto tickets
  * They seem awkward though
  * Something’s weird



~~

  * They’re weird



~~

  * Fair enough



———

The week had passed by more of less like usual. Things with Jaskier had seemed a little off, but it was probably just in Geralt’s head. Or he was causing it with his anxiety and overwhelming feelings. Having Jaskier be his “boyfriend,” even though that hadn’t functionally meant much so far, was messing with his head. This had definitely been a mistake. Going back to being just friends was going to feel like the death sentence of a dream he hadn’t even let himself admit to. And he _really_ hadn’t been expecting the reactions from their friends and family. Everyone seemed to think it had been a long time coming. Which was ridiculous. He was sure he’d been hiding his crush well, and Jaskier definitely didn’t feel that way about him. The man would flirt with an attractive broom. If he liked Geralt, he’d show it. But everyone was so accepting and excited that they were “finally” together, it was going to suck when they “broke up.”

———

Geralt picked Jaskier up on Friday night and tried not to notice how his dark green sweater hugged his biceps and his black ripped jeans hugged his ass as he climbed into the truck. Geralt cleared his throat.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Geralt!” Jaskier said brightly. He did up his seatbelt and Geralt started driving.

“So, I was thinking, we might want to, ah, sell it a bit more tonight.” Jaskier said.

“Hmm?”

“That we’re dating. Sunday was a family brunch, but this is a party at a pub.”

“Uh, right.”

‘Right.” Jaskier smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and his fingers tapped against his knees. Was that eyeliner? He was wearing eyeliner. Geralt was weak. Focus on the road. This is _fine_.

———

As they were walking up to the doors of the pub, Jaskier went to grab Geralt’s hand at the same time as Geralt dropped his arm over Jaskier’s shoulders. Jaskier jumped slightly, letting out a surprised “Oh!” Geralt hesitated.

“This ok?”

“Yeah! Yes. Just took me by surprise.”

“K.”

They walked inside.

“Geralt!” Lambert called from the corner of the pub they’d claimed, not far from the karaoke set-up.

“Hey.” Geralt responded.

“Aiden! Happy birthday!” Jaskier exclaimed to his friend.

“Hey buddy, about fuckin time, hey?” Aiden punched Jaskier in the arm and looked pointedly at Geralt, then back at Jaskier.

“Oh. Haha. Is it? Uhm…” Jaskier said.

“So? Tell us!” Aiden said.

“Um, tell you… what?”

“How it happened! We’ve been placing bets.”

Jaskier started turning red and glanced at Geralt, who was frozen in place. It would have been smart to plan this ahead of time. Very smart. But here they were.

“Well, we were drunk, and..” Jaskier started, at the same time as Geralt said

“I’ve been in love…”

They both stopped and stared at each-other with wide eyes. Geralt cleared his throat, looking like he might faint. Jaskier gave a nervous giggle.

“Right! We were drunk, and Geralt confessed his feelings, and I reciprocated, and here we are!”

“Huh.” Aiden said, eyebrows raised. “Well, no birthday money for me.”

“Eskel, you bastard, had Geralt already told you?!” Lambert exclaimed.

“No! I’m just smarter than you assholes.” Eskel answered.

Lambert and Aiden rolled their eyes.

“Alright, well, what matters is you finally fucking did it!” Aiden clapped a hand on Jaskier’s shoulder. “Let’s drink!”

Eskel poured everyone a pint from the pitcher and they cheers’d to the new couple and to Aiden’s birthday. Geralt leaned over to whisper in Jaskier’s ear, who suppressed a shiver.

“I think I might have to drink to get through this. You mind if I do and pay for a DD service to get home?”

Jaskier smiled at him.

“Fine by me! Let’s get drunk!”

They sat down to order and Jaskier’s knee pressed against Geralt’s. Was it intentional? Should he move away? Press back? His hands felt clammy. He took a big gulp of his beer. Everything was _fine_.

Karaoke started while they were eating. Jaskier was vibrating beside him. Jaskier went up as soon as he’d finished shovelling food into his face, and sang “Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy,” making lots of eye contact with Geralt, which made Geralt choke on his beer until Eskel thumped him on the back. Aiden then got up and sang “Don’t Stop Believin’,” which Lambert joined him in partway through. They hit about a third of the words, but made up for what they missed in enthusiasm. Food was finished and pitchers replenished. Everyone was loud and laughing. Eskel sang “SexyBack.” After he got over his brief shock, Jaskier jumped up to sing backup. Geralt and Lambert looked both impressed and mildly embarrassed as they watched their brother rock his hips as he belted it out. Aiden cheered and whistled his encouragement. Next Jaskier and Aiden sang Everybody (Backstreet’s Back). When the music started the others at their table groaned loudly. The pair sang the opening lines together.

“Everybody, rock your body”

Jaskier sang the next part, pointing dramatically towards their table.

“Oh my God we're back again”

Aiden took the next part.

“Am I original? Am I the only one? Am I sexual?” Aiden danced and shimmied while he sang, and Lambert wolf-whistled loudly.

“Yeah you are, babe!’ He shouted.

They sang the next part together again.

“Everybody, rock your body,” they faced each-other and danced lewdly, belting it out.

“Now throw your hands up in the air,” Aiden sang next, waving his free hand above his head. “And wave 'em around like you just don't care.”

Jaskier took the next part.

“Am I original? Am I the only one?” He held a finger up. “Am I sexual?” He circled his hips. “Am I everything you need? You better rock you body now.” He punctuated that with over the top hip thrusts. Geralt turned bright red, turning away, but quickly peeked back, unable to stop himself. Jaskier caught him and winked, and Geralt quickly diverted his gaze. Jaskier and Aiden finished the rest of the song together before returning to their seats, giggling and out of breath. As Jaskier joked with Aiden and Lambert across from him, Geralt couldn’t stop his eyes from fixing on him. Jaskier sat back in his seat, leaning into Geralt, who put his arm around his shoulders, and Jaskier bit back a grin. When the MC called out a song for Jaskier and Geralt, Geralt shook his head with wide eyes.

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No, Jask.”

“Come onnn, Geralt!” Jaskier went up to the microphone, urging Geralt to follow. The music started and Geralt was still stubbornly sitting at the table.

“Don’t go breakin’ my heart,” Jaskier sang, then pointed at Geralt, who shook his head. “Oh honey if I get restless,” Jaskier continued. Eskel and Aiden got up and grabbed Geralt’s arms, dragging him to the mic. “Don't go breaking my heart,” Jaskier sang.

“You take the weight off of me,” Geralt grumbled, and Lambert let out a whoop.

“Oh, honey, when you knock on my door,” Jaskier sang.

“I gave you my key” Geralt said, looking into Jaskier’s eyes.

“Ooh-hoo,” Jaskier threw his head back as he sang, “nobody knows it.” He wiggled his hips. “When I was down,”

“I was your clown” Geralt started to sing. Jaskier laughed and Geralt smiled back.

“Ooh-hoo, nobody knows it” Jaskier sang.

“Nobody knows!” Aiden supplied loudly from their table.

“Right from the start” Jaskier sang.

“I gave you my heart” Geralt sang.

“Oh oh, I gave you my heart,” Jaskier sang along with Geralt.

“So don't go breaking my heart” Jaskier sang, leaning towards Geralt.

“I won't go breaking your heart” Geralt replied with a smirk.

“Don't go breaking my heart” they sang together.

They continued alternating lines, eyes only on each other.

“And nobody told us” Jaskier sang, stepping closer.

“Cause nobody showed us”

“And now it's up to us, babe.”

“Whoa, I think we can make it” Geralt sang as he reached a hand out to Jaskier’s hip.

“So don't misunderstand me” Jaskier leaned in.

“You put the light in my life” Geralt pulled him in closer, gripping his hip more firmly.

“Oh, you put the spark to the flame”

“I've got your heart in my sights” Geralt sang softly.

“Ooh-hoo, nobody knows it” they sang together

“When I was down” Jaskier sang, wrapping his arms around Geralt’s waist.

“I was your clown”

“Ooh-hoo, nobody knows it,” they sang together.

“Nobody knows” Aiden called again.

“Right from the start” Jaskier sang.

“I gave you my heart”

“Oh oh, I gave you my heart”

“Don't go breaking my heart” Their foreheads were nearly touching now.

“I won't go breaking your heart”

“Don't go breaking my heart” they sang softly together, before tilting their heads and softly kissing.

“Whooee!” Aiden shouted from the table. The pair ignored him, staring into each-other’s eyes. They nearly missed it when it was time to sing again, and finished off the song still clinging to each-other. They returned to the table and went back to sitting snuggled together, Geralt’s arm around Jaskier. After one last round of drinks, they decided it was time to call it a night. Geralt called for a designated driver service to drive his truck, and them, home. The others hopped into a cab after saying their goodbyes. As they waited by the door, Jaskier shivered, hands tucked under his arms, and Geralt wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in close.

“Wouldn’t want you catching a cold.” Geralt said.

“No, can’t have that,” Jaskier murmured, nuzzling into Geralt’s neck. Geralt hummed happily, lightly rubbing a hand up and down Jaskier’s back.

“Do you want the driver to take you home? Or…” Geralt trailed off.

“Or..?” Jaskier asked, only to be answered with silence. Jaskier untucked his face to look up at Geralt, who was worrying his bottom lip, drawing Jaskier’s gaze down. He flicked his gaze up to golden eyes.

“Can I…?” Jaskier asked.

“You… you don’t have to.”

“Have to?”

“No-one’s here to see anymore. You don’t have to put on a show.”

“But, what if I want to?” Jaskier asked softly. Geralt stared at him.

“Do you? Want to?” Geralt looked from his eyes to his lips. Jaskier tipped his face up and tilted his head, and Geralt leaned in. The kiss started gentle, but quickly heated up, and Jaskier whined into Geralt’s mouth, earning a low groan from Geralt, whose hand on his lower backpulled him in even tighter, their hips pressed together.When they paused for breath, sharing air between them, still clinging to each other, Jaskier spoke up.

“So, um, any thoughts on making this a, uh, permanent arrangement?”

“Hmm?”

“The, um, dating… thing.”

Geralt grinned and rocked his hips into Jaskier’s, who groaned and pressed back.

“I mean, everyone already thinks we are…” Geralt said.

“Wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone…” Jaskier added, a glint in his eye. He darted forward to nip at Geralt’s lip, getting a passionate kiss in return.

“Ehem. Uh, sorry, but, did you order a DD?” A voice spoke close to them. They broke apart, blushing.

“Yes! Sorry. It’s the truck over there.” Geralt pointed.

“And where are we going? Just the one stop?” The driver asked as they walked towards the truck.

Jaskier quickly supplied Geralt’s address, then looked at Geralt, a question in his eyes.

“Yeah, just the one stop,” Geralt confirmed, grabbing Jaskier’s hand and squeezing. His mind was swimming and struggling to catch up, reconcile dream with reality. But he wasn’t letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Your kudos and comments brighten my day 🌈💖  
> Check out my profile for more Witcher fics!  
> Find me on tumblr under stinawrites & stinastar


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